Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives

This book describes why and how codependents come about. It describes the causes as well as the symptoms. Majority of it has to do with our childhood experience, especially with the caregivers.

Unlike one reviewer, I do not think this book "bashes" the parents. Parents naturally account for most responsibilities when we were children. After we learned about these, we have to nurture the gratitute and know that our parents did the best they knew.

The book offers excellent coverage among all of the causes, symtoms, and some recovery strategies.

For more information on recovery, one should read Pia's newest book "Intimacy Factor" for more information, and "Breaking Free" for step by step workbook. Attending local CoDependency Anonymous (CoDA) meetings also helped me, but not as much as Pia's books.

I've read all three of Pia's books. I am so grateful Pia would spend the time and energy to write these books. They helped me tremandeously. I highly recommend Pia's books.


Read At Your Own Risk!   October 18, 2000
35 out of 38 found this review helpful

Read this book/listen to this tape at your own risk~Pia Mellody has written a book that WILL NOT allow you to continue to live in the comfortable wallow of your own misery. Easy listening/reading? No. Ms. Mellody asks hard questions, demands honesty, and shows you the true face of the person who looks back at you from the mirror-your own self. You cannot read this book or listen to the tape and then ignore the message. Mellody's words stick with you like sidewalk gum on the heel of your shoe. You gotta sit down, shut up, and pay attention to what she has to say, or suffer the uncomfortable consequences of knowing that you have chosen to turn away from the truth. If you put Ms. Mellody's philosophies into action in your own life, you WILL find the freedom to live with joy. You WILL find the path to real maturity. You WILL learn to take responsibility for yourself and your actions...and you will learn to let others take responsibility for themselves. There are hundreds of self-help books available...save your money to buy this one, and do what Pia Mellody tells you to do. It works.


Really excellent book!   August 19, 1999
Patience Mason, Post-Traumatic Gazette, ptg@patiencepress.com (High Springs, FL)
29 out of 32 found this review helpful

One of the most moving parts of this book is her discussion of the "natural characteristics [of a child] that make them authentic human beings... valuable, vulnerable, imperfect, dependent and immature." Not perfect, independent, mature, self-contained, and impervious to hurt. Imagine my surprise! Anyone from a dysfunctional family where meeting Mom & Dad's needs was more important than the parents meeting your needs can benefit from this book. It brought up a lot of sadness for me, but it also encouraged me to begin to parent myself in healthy ways.